is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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