So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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