Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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