If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
