I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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