he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize