white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i was born a porn star she said
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I think people are normalizing furries
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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