you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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