happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
