I can't watch pbs sober anymore
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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