I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
