Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
