Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
