fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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