the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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