"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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