we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
