i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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