Bisexual people are plain selfish.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize