on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
