he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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