I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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