i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
