grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
