Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
