She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
