I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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