You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
