This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
