I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
