so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I woke up under a house in Key West
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
