Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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