Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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