I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
