You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize