About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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