how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
