When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
