Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize