don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Sext me about skeletons
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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