Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize