When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
