you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
