Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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