You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
