how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
