Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
