THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
