watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
