Whod you bang
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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