Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
