Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
