it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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