Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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