i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
