i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
