I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We were destined to go to rehab together
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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