It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
