Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
