Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
