Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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