Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
