Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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