my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
