No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
