I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
