Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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