This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
